Crash!

We interrupt this fascinating debate between Oprahbama and Billary on the subject of "Who's Johnny?" to bring you some breaking news.

This just in! According to our normally quite reliable sources there was a major accident which occured last Saturday morning. In the very early morning. Or was it very late Friday night?

Witnesses on the scene saw the white male victim flee the scene of the accident. He was described as tall, bald, extremely handsome with a great body! If you see this man, and you are a cute funny intelligent single woman, please call him!

According to a police report the incident occured when this subject entered a cab at the infamous Coconuts. The cab was randomly picked from a bunch of screaming, begging, pulling and pushing cab drivers. A bit like the middle-aged women in the front row of a Tom Jones concert.

The victim - not suspecting anything - got in the car and instructed the cabbie to take him to his hotel. The driver obeyed and took off. As he was speeding up on the Marginal (a long straight road along the coast line), the passenger relaxed and looked around him as if he longed for yet another drink.

All of sudden it happened! Loud screetching tires and as the white male was launched forward he grabbed the seat in front of him and looked up at what was going on. His cab was still on the road, trying to brake as a red pickup truck came out of nowhere and crossed the street in the direction of the beach.

Where this truck came from and why it was heading that way is still a mistery. Maybe he lost control, fell asleep or was doing some midnight off road racing in the bushes...

Whatever! The taxi could not stop in time and hit this truck hard on the side. The cab passenger saw the hood of the car double up right in front of him as at the same time a car - coming from behind too fast to stop or avoid the scene - hit the taxi right behind the victims seat. This set the taxi off in a 270 degree spin.

Finally when all the dust was settled, the passenger checked himself and noticed that he was okay. The cab driver was a less pretty sight as he was bleeding like crazy from his forehead. Must've hit the steering wheel. However, he acknowledged that otherwise he felt fine.

Both got out of the car and so did the drivers of the other two vehicles involved in the crash. Our hero (the passenger) looked at the taxi and only now realised that he had been really lucky. Really really lucky! The engine block was diminished to half its size. That cab had had its last passenger. The official legal term being "total loss".

The red pickup driver was fine (of course! He had the truck) and so was the guy that hit the cab from behind. This last guy was furious! He was screaming and shouting at the pickup driver saying he would call the police. Funny thing of course is, that since he hit the taxi from behind, he is responsible for his own collision. Should've kept his distance.

The truck driver was very appologetic towards the cabbie and suggested to 'arrange' everything without police intervention. The furious guy got even more angry and in the meanwhile a curious crowd was gathering around.

This is when our male subject (yes, the handsome one!) decided that it was too late (04:30 am), too dark, too crowdy and he was way too visible to hang around much longer. He checked his vitals one more time and walked away from the crime scene.

The taxi guy got nervous and followed him saying that he couldn't leave as he was required to act as a witness. A witness to what? To testify that he was dozing off in the back before being rudely awaken by a car crash? (and that is a rude awakening, I can assure you).

He decided not to hang around waiting for possibly 2 hours before police had done all they needed to do, just to provide a statement which wouldn't be helpful at all. The physical evidence was more than obvious.

5 minutes later he was last seen speeding away in yet another cab. Destination unknown....

PS: Oh well, that was one adventure I do not necessarily need to experience again. Yes, I got really lucky, considering the damage, the way it could've ended up and the fact that I was in the back without seat belt. Before you start, most cars do not have seat belts in the back and most front belts don't function either... All in all, everything is fine. Not even some neck muscle pains. I even slept like a baby.

Guess Who's Back!

Oh boy, back in Maputo after having spent 5 days in Holland, 2 weeks in Curaçao and another 4 days in Holland over the holiday period. Well, the last post was on Cape Town and quite a bit happened since then.

The 2 weeks after Cape Town were mostly focused on preparing to move office. I spent enormous amounts of time preparing the infrastructure before the move and actually preparing the building. Nothing happens here as planned. Absolutely nothing! You kind of know this, especially after being here a while, but you haven't seen it all until you've seen and managed construction in this city.

These workers are the funniest There's absolutely no thinking about consequences of actions. The electricians just cut off the electricity in the middle of the day, just when everybody is working on things which require electricity. "Oh, we're just testing the generator". Anyone ever consider checking if people were working?

Or the guys that took out the ceiling of the toilets without bothering to check if anyone was in there. Ever seen a terrified woman rush out the toilet with her pants on her ankles? I have now...

And everybody you call to fix or install something for some reason always has to come first to look at everything before even considering actually doing the job. That requires another appointment which they won't keep anyway. You cannot imagine how many calls and appointment I made with the cable company just to terminate the cable. for you non-techies out there, that is putting the plug on the end of the cable.

Oh well, you get used to things I guess. Well, not really. I do not get used to it, but do take it into account when planning. Call it: environmental influences.

Curaçao was great! The main reason for me to go there was my cousin Julian's wedding. And since he got married on the 22nd (coincidently my dads b-day), I added Xmas and New years to the menu. I never regretted that!

The wedding was beautiful. Actually, don't they always say that? Like funerals. People always say: the service was beautiful. I'm waiting for the first to say: that funeral was horrible! The speeches were off topic, the coffee lame, the cake tasted like dirt, the DJ sucked and the host was quite...ehhh....stiff! How funny would that be?

Oh well, the wedding service was nice and the bride looked like she would never stop smiling. My main 'role' was taking pictures and I took many. Most of these can be seen on this website.

After the wedding it was time to party. And the island can party! Especially with New Years! A typical thing unique for Curaçao is what we call Pagara Parties. A pagara party is usually organised by a company (bank, lawfirm, consultancy, supermarket, etc.) or a restaurant/bar and takes places on their parking lot and the street in front of it.

Usually there is a band and a DJ that warms up the crowd and there lots of booze. And everyone can attend. These parties are often advertised on radio and newspapers. You party for about one to two hours and then the host starts the fireworks show. If the party is during the day, the fireworks would be one really long 'carpet' of klapchi (the exploding noisy stuff). The longer your carpet, the more impressed everyone is. People can refer to your record breaking carpet in admiration for years afterwards.

If it is at night, the show would like contain more sky-based fireworks. These pagara parties start about a full week before new years and the number of parties per day increase as new years comes closer. The last three days of a year you can spent completely drunk and deaf moving from party to party.

Two years ago I read in a Dutch newspaper that the same amount of fireworks is sold in Curaçao compared to Holland. The amazing part of this fact was that it referred to absolute numbers! 130.000 people buy the same amount as 16 million people with higher average incomes!!! Yes, it is a waste of money, bad for the environment, unfriendly towards pets, but it is sooooooooooo much fun!!! (PS: Picture of pagara is courtesy of Charlton)

After Curaçao and a bit of Holland is was time to go back to Maputo. And guess what? No, really! Guess! Yep, you are again right! I lost my suitcase!!! This time it was on my Johannesburg-Maputo flight. A simple one hour flight! I checked it in at 08:00 am at JBG airport and 90 minutes later the captain of my South African Airways flight announced that they lost 55 pieces of luggage and he was ordered to leave for Maputo anyway.

This time I got it back 24 hours later, but it had been forced open and all valuable items were taken out of it. Including my pocket camera and a brand new watch! I don't know what it is with this continent. I experienced over 400 flights and lost my suitcase only once! On a KLM flight from Amsterdam to Curaçao. I do 5 flights involving Africa and lose it 3 times!

I got only three letters for this: T.I.A.