Nelspruit

Part 2 of my (il)legal border crossing. Probably by the time I finish this story, I need to do another one of these. Maybe I'll go check out Swaziland. I hear that's a great place. Just last month the king had 30.000 (!) single women dance in front of him, as he was ready to get married and needed just the right woman for this purpose. Actually it was his 13th wedding. No, not a single divorce and yes, the other 12 are still alive. So yes, Swaziland sounds like a little piece of heaven...

But, that is probably the next trip. First there was Nelspruit. It's about a 1.5 hours drive from the border and part of it is through the mountains. Actually these are not real mountains, just hills, but when you come from flatland Holland, anything bigger than your beer belly is considered a mountain.

As you get closer to Nelspruit you will get the feeling that you just drove out of Africa and into the US. It is like approaching a Southern US city. The landscaping resembles it and so do the cars, shops and people you see around you. Fast food joints, car show rooms, malls, casinos, etc. And of course a lot of white people, the really white kind. Like the ones you normally see when visiting Orlando. Khaki's, polo's, big tennis shoes, white knee-high socks and the corpulence to match it.

Nelspruit, as I've been told, is part of Boers land. During the Boer War, Nelspruit served briefly as the seat of government for the South African Republic (not to be confused with the Republic of South Africa), an independent Boer republic. In more recent times, mainly during the apartheid reform and post-1994 eras, a number of white Afrikaans-speaking people, mainly with "conservative" political views and of trekker descent, have preferred to be called "Boers", rather than "Afrikaners".

So there I am, in Orlan... oops... Nelspruit. What to do? Well, do what all other Mozambicans do when visiting Nelspruit: Shop till you drop! I was ready! Debit card in one hand, credit card in the other. Hit me with your best merchandise!

I stormed into the mall and immediately into a clothing store. Nope. Wrong store. Men's clothing there consisted of khaki's, polo's, plaid shirts and army pants. And a lot of army pants! Pants, shorts, t-shirts, jackets... all with army prints. I though I entered the Rambo Factory Outlet.

Okay, next store! Shoot! Wrong store. Men's clothing there consisted of khaki's, polo's, plaid shirts, and army pants. And a lot of army pants! Pants, shorts, t-shirts, jackets... all with army prints. This time I thought I entered the Tour of Duty duty free shop.

It is like you're in the middle of the base camp of a rogue farmer's army. I have visions of this vigilante 'farmy' running around in the middle of the night shooting at anything that moves. And I do mean any thing!

Okay, another store then....

Three times lucky? You guessed it! Not a chance! It turns out that the Nelspruit fashion trend for this year is the exact same fashion trend from last year, and the year before, and the decade before! Based on their sense of fashion, you can tell the Boers men descended from the Dutch...

I had so been looking forward to do some proper shopping, but that was obviously not going to happen. In the end I just bought a pair of black jeans. Levi's of course, since over here Pepe, Hugo, Calvin or Diesel are only known as names you could give to your son... or to your beloved all-terrain vehicle.

Then there's always the second thing a Maputonian does in Nelspruit and that is: raid the supermarket. Now that was much more fun. The supermarket (or hypermarket) has quite an extensive selection and for the Dutch it is even more fun as you shop for tamaties, karringmelk, hoendervleis, sop, sout and seep.

And..... biltong! I had never had it before, which is obviously the best reason to buy it. It's a local delicacy and is basically a stick of dried meat. You can get it in the supermarket, gas stations and even at candy stores, but the best is a dedicated Biltong Bar. There they have several different types of meat and different levels of dryness and southeid (that's saltiness). I loved it! If anyone (Kevin?) knows of a place in Utrecht where I can get good biltong, let me know!

Well, apart from also going to a real cinema and having my first fast food burger in 5 months, these were the highlights of my first RSA trip. Next one will be in 10 days time, but then to Kruger for the Big 5, Cape Town for the Big 6 and Johannesburg for the Big 1.