Macaneta

Last week Sunday I went to the beach with two colleagues and some of their family members. To the Macaneta beach (see the map). This beach is about an hours drive away from the city and you really need a 4x4 though to get there.

First you drive out of the city. This drive is an adventure by itself. First you pass a bunch of, what looks like, wildfires. It actually is a mountain of garbage, created by the people that live there, set on fire. That is one (smelly) way of getting rid of your garbage. Very smelly, as there's no distinction between types of garbage (paper, plastic, wood, food, rubber, etc.).

Next is, what I call, Contradiction Road. On the right side there are beautiful houses. Large, luxurious villas with about 4 people living in houses with on average 16 rooms. On the left side there are man-made shacks where I guess 16 people live in 4 tiny rooms. And this is literally 8 meters apart (the width of a single two-way road)! You expect differences in third world countries, but not as in-your-face as this.

Then there's a nice 10 meter wide smooth road all the way to Macaneta. There are no lines painted on this road, just a stretch of brand new asphalt. I have no clue if it is a one-, two-, three- of four-lane road and neither does anyone else. You basically drive anywhere on it and avoid hitting any car coming from the opposite direction! (that is actually a good habit, no matter what road you're on)

Then you get to Macaneta, but before you get there you have to cross a river. For this there is a ferry service.... How do I explain this? Imagine 6 SUV's on a metal platform no larger than a volleyball court. Get the picture? No? Just check out the pics.

Are we in Macaneta? Nope. First some cross-country driving is required. This is where the requirement for a 4x4 becomes clear. Put it in 4-wheel drive, preferably in the low gearing mode. That basically means that your engine will be revving heavily whilst your car is doing no more than 5 km/hr in the mud. If the conditions are really bad, you actually release air from the tires, as empty tires have more grip.

And then finally you get to Macaneta... and it is worth it! A very nice peninsula with long stretches of sandy beaches reaching into the Indian Ocean. You get really nice waves to play with. Not big enough for Leandro to rip his cut-backs, bottom turns or do a front-side, but fun enough for 'non-dudes' like the rest of us. It is also known as one of the 'sharkiest' places around (many shark hunters come here to fish), so be aware!

After you swim you can enjoy a fresh fish meal at the one and only 'restaurant' on this peninsula.
Being from the Caribbean, I love eating fish in places like this and I do so whenever I can. This will always beat whatever deep frozen stuff they usually sell in Holland as "catch of the day"... (It is a good thing they do not mention which day or year, for that matter. Or from which discount wholesaler they 'caught' it)

The fish is actually caught by the very few people living here, using boats made by joining a bunch of bambooish pieces of wood. It doesn't look very safe and stable to me and I would definitely not dare facing Jaws (I, II nor 3-D) in it, but the local fishermen seem to have no problems with it. Oh well, I guess in a country with a male life expectancy of 41, you take your chances...

The drive back is, in some ways, even more challenging. Not because of nature elements, but because of human nature. You actually drive past a lot of hangouts, bars, open air eating places, etc. Especially on Sundays these spots are crowded with people drinking and drinking and drinking. That's okay, but then they're drunk and literally cross the streets (to the hangout on the other side) without looking left or right. Possibly looking up or down (mostly down), but that's it! They should have signs on the road to warn drivers of crossing drunks! Maybe a red triangular warning sign with Boris Jeltsins face on it?

Did you also know...

...that a large part of the movie "Blood Diamond" was filmed right here in Maputo? Mainly the scenes supposedly in Freetown, Sierra Leone and the fisherman's village where the son of Djimon Hounsou was abducted in the very beginning of the movie. That means that Djimon, Leonardo Carpaccio and the very cute Jennifer Connelly were right here, sitting on the same barstool as I! It is quite cool to read the production notes on the subject.
(Yes, you can click on the blue text to see the notes in a separate window)

...that in March an army weapons depot exploded killing 115 people? This explosion was 15 kilometers away from our current temp offices, but you can still see the cracks in the ceiling caused by it. Even during my first week here (3 months after the explosion!) a few kids were killed due to stepping on live ammunition found 10 kilometers (!) away from the depot. The army restarted their search for explosions and found some buried 6 meters in the ground. A bit like Enschede, and then some!

...that just last month an airplane could not land here because the runway light were stolen? This one just cracked me up. It turns out that local thieves trespassed airport terrain at night to steal the light bulbs from the runway. I guess these can be used at home (?). At first the police was called in to patrol the runway at night but that didn't work out. Only the second night of their patrol an airplane was forced to circle this town four times until they lined up enough cars with their headlights on to illuminate the runway. I am not kidding! This is the actual truth! Can you imagine sitting in seat 12A, a nice window seat on your plane, about to touch down at the airport of your destination, looking out the window and seeing total darkness apart from a bunch of car headlights? I too was laughing out loud for at least 10 minutes when I heard this. Now the airport employs their own security and that seems to work. Whatever that implies, I leave up to you.

...that Maputo has one of the strictest traffic police in the world? You will be checked here at least 3 times a week in a normal week. They will check your drivers license, insurance, etc. It is almost impossible to speed over here and get away with it. They are everywhere! However, it is good to know that most cars on the road here are technically incapable of speeding. If the average car over here goes over 70 km/hour I think it will literally fall apart. Seriously, Fred Flinstone had a better car!

...that the fine for ignoring a stop sign of the traffic police is 100 meticais (4 USD)? And that the lowest fine for a traffic offence, apart from ignoring a stop sign is 400 meticais? ...ehhh..... hmmmm... shall I stop? Or maybe.... ehhhhh......... Go baby go! Pedal to the Metal! See ya! Run, Forest Run! Heeehaaaa!

...that there are two cell phones companies in Mozambique and that the competition is fierce? You have M-Cel with 2 million subscribers and Vodacom with 1 million. How do they advertise? They pay poor locals who actually live alongside the road a few bucks in order to paint their house in the company's colours with the slogans and logo's on it. Just last week M-Cell accidentally splattered their adverts al over historical houses which are on the Unesco World Heritage list! What a waste!

...that because of filming Blood Diamond here there is an error in the movie? In the beginning you see a sun rise on the beach. Supposedly the Sierra Leone beach. Problem is that Sierra Leone is on the other (west) side of Africa and therefore doesn't have a sunrise at sea. Only a sun set. I bet you didn't figure that one out for yourself!!! :-)

Not Barbara

As I mentioned in a previous post a Bush is forcing me out of the hotel. It is Tuesday night now and tomorrow sees the arrival of George W's wife. Nobody here seems to remember her first name, so I just refer to her as 'not-Barbara'. She must be the most unknown US presidents wife in recent history! Everybody knows Hillary, Barbara and Nancy, but what's her face?

The fact that not-Barbara is coming has been noticeable here for the last few days. The hotel has slowly been taken over by gringos ('US Americans' for those of you not familiar with Latin American slang). Most of them security. That basically means that the hotel bar (normally a civilised place where guests enjoy a conversation and drink before retiring to their rooms) is now a room packed with badly dressed meat-heads making sure everybody else gets to 'enjoy' their conversation. Yes, it is loser-fit Gap jeans, plaid shirts, college sweaters and large white sneakers (with white socks of course) that now define the hotel fashion trend.

The purpose of not-Barbara's visit is to check up on how US funds donated for the purpose of fighting AIDS have been allocated. Apparently, apart from being presidents wife, she's now also a financial auditor.

Well, we all know what happens during these visits. Some flag waving and anthem playing at the airport, a welcome speech by the local president, the mandatory visit of a children's hospital, some more handshaking, followed by a dinner attended by the local captains of industry (and whomever is a relative of someone important). Then the usual speech saying how impressed she is with the progress she's seen and a promise of some more funds or goods.

Don't get me wrong! I think it is great that western countries invest and contribute to local causes and I will always support this. This is just me having a bit of fun presenting a cynical view on the ceremonial part.

But forget about this whole AIDS thing! The real issue of course is that I have to check out for one day. So Wednesday I have to check out because the hotel has been fully booked by the US embassy and Thursday I can check in again. Life's a bush!

By the way, her name is Laura...

PS: Sorry guys, the twins are not coming, so you can keep your Tequila shot glasses in the cabinet.

PS2 (added on thursday): Below a quote taken from a local newsletter regarding not-Barbara's visit...

LAURA BUSH ANNOUNCES MONEY FOR FIGHT AGAINST MALARIA
Maputo, 27 Jun (AIM) - The First Lady of the United States, Laura Bush, announced in Maputo on Wednesday a grant of 17 million US dollars for the fight against malaria in the central Mozambican province of Zambezia. During her short visit Laura Bush, accompanied by the coordinator of the PMI, Admiral Timothy Ziemer, was received by President Armando Guebuza, visited the Maputo Central Hospital, and a mosquito spraying centre in the outlying suburb of Machava.

New and Improved!

This blog was just taken to the next level. If you carefully look upwards, you might actually see a little glimpse of it.

So what's new?

First of all, I am now publishing my photos on my own website. For those that need practise with their typing skills, enter http://maputo.lopezramirez.net in your address bar, press enter and viola! All others can just click on the "See The Pictures!" link on the right side of your screen.

You can now also get an idea of what is where and what this city looks like (from above). I have created a Google Map with markers on all the spots which for whatever reason are relevant. Most common reason for its relevance would be because I was there! ;-)

Even the typing students would have trouble with the map's URL, so I simply refer to the "Check The Map!" link on your right.

And last but not least! You can now all leave comments behind on this blog. Previously it was only possible for gmail-members to post, but that restriction is now gone. I hereby would like to express my gratitude to René, the "nachtburgemeester" of Da Bush, for being the first to comment.

Talking about Bush, one of them is coming next week! Which is why I'm being kicked out of this hotel next Wednesday. Will tell you more about it next time.

Adeu!

Did you know...

…that according to shrimp experts the straight between Mozambique and Madagascar contains - what is known as - the “Rolls Royce of Shrimp”? Basically that implies that being a fan of a good shrimp meal, I am really spoiled here… By the way, what is a shrimp expert? Is that a Shrimpologist? Shrimpadamus? Or maybe a Shrimpzilla?

…that Maria Mutola is the only Olympic gold medal winner in Mozambican history? She dominated the 800 meters in athletics for over 10 years. The Dutch will remember how her dominance was once broken during the Barcelona Olympics by the Dutch gazelle Ellen van Lange (also known as “scheefbekje”).

…that the famous architect Eiffel actually has designed a few buildings here? Apart from the beautiful Central Station’s roof structure there’s the notable “Iron House”. Legend has it that some guy, when requesting a permission to build, was being discouraged by the local authorities, stating that he was only to build a house there (next to a city park) if and only if the entire construction period would last no longer than 4 weeks. So Eiffel was called in as architect who designed and build a house in Paris using only iron. This iron house was then taken apart, shipped to Maputo and put together again within the requested 4 weeks! Cool, huh? I guess Maputo has the honour of actually having the first pre-fab house!

…that quite a lot of people here speak English? And rather fluently? I have been to quite some countries where English is not the main language, but in my experience this country comes second to only Holland. The most often heard explanation is that Mozambique is surrounded by mostly English speaking countries. My explanation is that, like Holland (and the Netherlands Antilles), television and movies are all subtitled here and not dubbed like for example in Germany of France. You know, those countries where John Wayne has the same voice as Eddie Murphy and Woody Allen.

…that Brazilian novelas are one of the most watched TV shows over here? Does it ever stop!!! Sigh…

…that I hereby solemnly promise to never ever again complain about the many potholes in the Curacao roads. Compared to the roads here the Antillian roads are as smooth as Bill Clintons chat-up lines. And almost all roads are bad. Really bad! The worst I’ve seen is actually in front of the Canadian embassy. You need a Hummer to get there for your papers. Then again… who would want to move to the country that gave us Celine Dion anyway…

…that the famous Kruger park is actually just a 2 hour drive from Maputo? Basically that means that going on the well known safari is easier from here than the more common South African Cape Town.

…that I have still not seen a single McDonalds? Really! I am not kiddin’!!! Actually I have also not seen a BK, Pizza Hut, Wendy’s, TGI Fridays, Starbucks or even a FEBO! They actually serve food here! James would never survive…

…that the flag of Mozambique has a AK-47 on it? For those of you who do not know, that is a Russian made automatic rifle, also known as the Kalishnikov. Historically probably the weapon responsible for sending the highest number of people to the eternal hunting grounds. I actually didn’t know anything about this gun until Nicolas Cage praised it extensively in Lord of War. If you haven’t seen that movie, rent or buy it now!

…that you can easily get an AK-47 here for about USD 30? Anyone interested?

...that I have to leave now because the sports bar is showing Netherlands vs. Serbia in the U-21 European Championship final? On ESPN Africa! Go Hedwiges!!!

Go Mambas!!!

Oh boy! What an experience! The entire last week the hotel staff, taxi drivers, bar tenders and anybody that looks remotely Mozambican (and male) has been talking about one thing and one thing only: the big Mozambique vs. Senegal football clash to be played in the weekend.

Both countries find themselves in the same qualification poule for the African Nations Cup for which the finals are next January in Ghana. Senegal was leading the group with 7 out of 4 and the Mambas where joint second with 5 out of 4. And now the hugely favourite Senegal came to town. To my hotel, to be more precise. Oh well, one year you find yourself in the company of Messi and then you find yourself surrounded by half of the African premiership players.

Now the Mambas, as the national team is affectionately named (..after the Black Mamba snake that is...), had never really done anything in football. Yes, the best Portuguese player of all time, Eusebio, is originally from here, but everyone knows him as a Portuguese player. You know, like that other Portuguese guy Deco!

So this Sunday would be the start of a glorious era. The era of the Mambas! And yes, I was going to be part of it! Two colleagues agreed to join and after some (re-)searching we managed to buy tickets. The ticket set us back some 1.50 euros but you only live once, heh?

Off to the game we went. The stadium is some 20 minutes outside Maputo. On your way you pass 'villages' constructed on top of what looked like garbage, but that didn't stop the residents to wave Mozambican flags and shouting "Mambas! Mambas!".

What we encountered there is hard to describe. I have seen many live football matches, but never one like this. The stadium doors opened at 11:00 whilst the kick-off time is at 15:00. And yes, by 12:30 the 25.000 capacity stadium is full. Still, that doesn't imply that everybody is inside. No sir! Still 2 hours left to stack people in there. Yes, including us.

By the time we were inside there was just no place to sit or stand. After some wrestling we found ourselves sitting on the asphalt cycling track around the pitch. Around us some 35.000, mostly drunk, Mozambican supporters. Because what else can you do from 11:00 onwards than drink very cheap warm red wine from a cardboard box? (like juice containers)

What happened around is pure craziness. People drunk, people singing, people peeing, people undressing (they were playing a song titled "Tira ropa" meaning 'Take off your clothes'), people fighting, people fainting, people shouting, people dancing... We sat there looking around us in total amazement. And yes, we were the only non-locals which meant we basically could not keep a low profile.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot! The game! The Mambas fought and fought really hard. They were actually better and missed at least 3 clear opportunities to go ahead. I cannot even imagine what the people would have been like if the Mambas scored! Well they didn't and neither did Senegal. The end result being that Mozambique will need to beat Tanzania away in September and pray for some favourable (but unlikely) results in other matches.

Like the Dutch national coach of Mozambique said after the game: "You can't win them all...". As if, they always do!

PS: More pics of this game and of Maputo can be found soon on my website http://maputo.lopezramirez.net

Can Ya Airways...?

First post from Maputo. Everything is just fine. My first weekend day, but let me start at the beginning. My flight over here... For logistical (and luggage allowance) reasons I decided to fly Kenya Airways. Yes, yes, I know that just last month 115 people died in a Kenya Airways crash, but then again, what are the chances of that happening to the same company twice in one month...?

And the flight(s) were fine. On time, good seats, nice service (only male stewards, by the way. Why is that?), great movies (mostly 'African' classics like Blood Diamond and Last King of Scotland) and good food. Also the connection in Nairobi to get on my Maputo flight was fast and efficient. Too fast and efficient! At least for my suitcase.

As I exited the terminal of Nairobi to walk to my 737 plane, we actually walked past some 500+ suitcases all lined up on the tarmac. Around this line-up where some 30 guys - some of them with clipboards - checking tags, writing, shouting, pointing and repositioning suitcases. That's when I knew! There's no way that this manual baggage handling system will get my suitcase from one plane to the other in 45 minutes!

Of course it didn't so I and 3 other people I recognised from the first flight were left alone at the baggage belt in Maputo without luggage. That of course meant another hour at the Lost & Found. Well between Lost and Found there was exactly one day as the next day my suitcase arrived on a Jo'burg flight. Yep, my suitcase already saw more of Africa than I did!